Monday, January 17, 2011

The Bad Old Days


The 80's was a horrible era, the perm and mullet came into vogue, retinas were subjected to pastel jump suits and many a death was caused by frustrated souls throwing a satanic Rubik's Cube out a window. However salvation was at hand and I was born (and a number of others, but we're focusing on me at the moment). Though my family always offered a number of wonderful food options, we also were subjected to number of bizarre food stuffs growing up, so let's take a trip down memory lane to some products that didn't make it:
  • Deli Cups
    Australian calorific death in a cup. These clear, square containers were mainly filled with cream, thin layers of sponge, sprinkles and an inbuilt spoon. They could be found everywhere from Red Rooster and your local supermarket.

  • Dunkaroos
    In the olden days, we weren't too fussed about the environment and were happy to nibble on things like Le Snak and Nutella housed in landfill consuming miniature tubs. Dunkaroos followed a similar formular with sweet dip and kangaroo shaped biscuits. The Google machine informs me that these are still available in found roaming wild across the United States and some parts of Canada. But they can have them as I don't miss them.

  • Golliwogs
    Arnott's still make these under the banner of Scallywags, which in my opinion seems to have an even more negative underlying tone. Oh political correctness killed the biscuit!

  • Hamish and Andy Gravy Chips
    We love hot chips and gravy so in a stroke of genius, Australian comedy duo, Hamish and Andy championed the people's cause and in 1998 brought Gravy Chips to market. It makes me very sad that this flavour is no longer available on shelves.

  • Kellogg's Honey Rice Bubbles
    I don't tend to enjoy cereal for breakfast as I would much rather half an animal to start my day. However I miss Kellogg's Honey Rice Bubbles! Perfectly balanced, lifted the bland nature of the traditional product and you no longer had the issue with clumps of feather light crisps stuck to honey. Why would you forsaken me Kelloggs?!

  • KFC Mousse
    Deliciously light, these desserts could have been polished off at a lightning fast past with flexible red plastic teaspoons. However KFC realised this and housed this dessert in a container with a fluted base. This brought parents a few more minutes of quiet time as their child worked to extract every single scrap of mousse.

  • McDonald's Flavour Shaker French Fries
    I had forgotten about the MSG goodness of Flavour Shaker French Fries until Girl Clumsy mentioned them. You can read about them in her delightful article.

  • Pop Tarts
    As long as humanity boldly marches forward, we will continue to love warm chocolate desserts. Pop Tarts were the ultimate afternoon school snack as they could be easily heated in a toaster and then washed down with a glass of milk. You can still occasionally find them in specialist sweets stores.

  • Red Rooster Potato Planks
    Fried potato chips coated in beer batter. No explanation required why I miss this.

I suspect that none of these things would be as satisfying as they are in memory, but I do dream of their return. Do you have any other memories of your favourite childhood snacks? Feel free to share as I would love to know.

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